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Team Awesome - Reborn Leader :Fortress Wars Part3 by Bonaxor Team Awesome - Reborn Leader :Fortress Wars Part3 by Bonaxor
Team Awesome now on Tumblr [link]
Part one - [link]
Part two - [link]
Part three - Enjoy ^^

People that helped me a lot. :iconmikkeleb: :iconheart-0f-darkness:

Visit my site and plz read the Journal.

Any questions? Please send a note.

All characters belong to :iconfyre-flye: and Hasbro
Comic, idea and whole story is my.
Add a Comment:
 
:iconaeleos:
Vision: nice conclusion to a great mini-series.

Originality: as a series, terrifically original.

Technique: Artistically, same as always: simple and appealing.
I liked the bright light as Tia awoke from her dream; and the cinematic-style transition of the wind blowing outside her window.
This comic did seem to move a bit too fast. Drama should not necessarily be prolonged, but Tia's realization->shock->comfort->loving her mom happens rather quickly. This could have been amended by the addition of a few panels, I think.
Faust's expressions in panels 4 and 5 are a bit too joyful. (Unless she was straight-up trollin'.)
The background is annoyingly blank in the middle panel. I know BG's are hard, but it would look a lot better if you added a dresser/closet/poster, or even reused the window in panels 4-6.
Faust's horn in the 2nd last panel appears to be skewed to the left in relation to her head, which appears to be directly facing outwards.
The "Team Awesome will return" text would look much better in the lower left corner, in my opinion: instead of on the art itself.
Also, where did Philomena go from panel 4 to 5?

Impact: This panel packs a lot of punch. However it moves a bit too fast, as I mentioned above, which detracts from savoring the emotion.

Overall: if 5*s were an absolute idea of perfection, this 3-parter would get a 3.5. However, I'd rate it :star::star::star::star::star-half: if 5*s is the best stuff I've ever seen. (I.e. I really haven't seen anything more marvelous than this as far as dramatic MLP comics. :))
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
29 out of 30 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconlive4lifeofficaltr:
live4lifeofficaltr Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
what has this got to do with tf2?
Reply
:iconpolerli:
polerli Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2013
so first thing first,great work i love it ^^
2 i don't want to seem leecher but does (Im)patient and other part of your story can be found somewhere else that here or on trumbl ?
3 good luck to all the team who is behind the BIG story
Reply
:iconsrb2master1337:
SRB2master1337 Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2012
You may want someone to help with your English. It is readable, but just broken enough to allow immersion to be impossible.
Reply
:icon01xander:
01xander Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
when is the next one!!!!
Reply
:iconsolidsanchez:
SolidSanchez Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2012
Little Celestia is Awesome! I want an episode about her!
Reply
:iconallanpike:
Allanpike Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Dawwwwwwwwwwww
Reply
:icondolphinsilverwolf:
DolphinSilverwolf Featured By Owner Apr 15, 2012
Would she be Queen Faustus or Queen Solaris?
Reply
:icondarkkristin:
darkkristin Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
THAT IS NOT TIAS MOM HER MOMS MANE IS FIRE AND HER FATHERS IS PURE NIGHT!
Reply
:iconbonaxor:
Bonaxor Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Not here my friend. In my world there are only 5 Alicorns. Fausticorn, Celestia, Luna, Dream and Cadence. There was never anything before them or after them. And If you want to know how Tia was Created then you have to wait. I will make a comic where I will show it. But not now.
And yea you are right. Lauren isn't her mother. SHE is her teacher, as well as whole Team Awesome. Lauren takes care of whole Team even if none of them are her real children.
Reply
:iconddraigtanto:
Ddraigtanto Featured By Owner May 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, there's no actual canon regarding the parents of Tia and Luna to my knowledge. So with that, almost any headcanon can be adopted regarding the issue. I personally like the idea of Fausticorn being the parents of Tia and Luna, considering everyone sees them as gods, and so the creator of the MLP:FiM universe, considering the fact ponies such as Pinkie Pie regularly break the fourth wall and almost peer into reality, would seem as a believable concept.

Though that does beg the question: Who's the father? If there even IS one?
Reply
:iconmlpfimluna:
MlpFimLuna Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012
sooo cutee
Reply
:icontemplar127:
templar127 Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2012
WANT TO SEE MORE!
Reply
:iconmre380:
MrE380 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Student Filmographer
I wish I could draw ;(
Reply
:iconenmar123:
Enmar123 Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012
cute :3
Reply
:iconanzul:
anzul Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Student General Artist
awww :3
Reply
:iconcajobif:
cajobif Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
So. Much. Cuteness.

Lesson well learned.
Reply
:icon4llj00r84536uy:
4LLJ00R84536UY Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
Awww, how nice...
Reply
:iconbronylink:
BronyLink Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
That was amazing.! <3
Reply
:iconneowolfsp:
Neowolfsp Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
aaawwww. That was sweet. =3
Reply
:iconninonybox:
ninonybox Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
Oooooooooooooooooooo
This is good!
Reply
:iconark125:
ark125 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
buckin' amazing!
Reply
:iconcaustizer:
Caustizer Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
All being said this is a very good ending. I'm surprised how well you both write and draw... usually the two do not come in one package that often on Deviantart in my experience.

I do wonder though where Discord, Luna and Dream are in this last part. Were they in a different room and their mother manipulated them into the same combined dream, or is the whole thing simply a dream of Celestia while the other 3 have their own dreams?

It would explain whether this comic has actual character appearences or if they are simply dream versions that aren't the real thing.
Reply
:iconbonaxor:
Bonaxor Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
They are real, each one oh them. Lauren created one dream for all of them. And each of Team Awesome is in his/her own room. I haven't showed that and Im sorry about it. I had no idea how to do show it at the beginning. Only at the end when I was adding finishing touches I figured that out.
Reply
:iconcaustizer:
Caustizer Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
What you could have done is have an open doorway in the background of one of the frames showing the other 3 entering the room, or you could have possibly done a final frame featuring them all at the dinner table or something of that nature including a comment about the dream.
Reply
:iconbb-k:
BB-K Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ooo, a phoenix plush. :)
Reply
:iconthechief1992:
thechief1992 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
:D YAY Its here! it was pretty great man i cant wait to see what you do with this!
Reply
:iconaeleos:
Aeleos Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
Stop! It's grammar time! (I hope everyone gets that reference, and then proceeds to not hate me :D)

5th panel:
Faust's first bubble: "That with leadership comes great [I would use a word different than "stress". "Responsibility", perhaps. There is a real quote: "With great power comes great responsibility", although that isn't quite accurate as Tia has little power at the moment]. You must learn how to react to every situation with calmness and composure. (The latter half of that sentence ("so that your decisions will lead to a better tomorrow") seems very weird. Try to find a different way to say it, maybe?) You've taken your first step tonight."
(^I know I took some creative liberty there, but trust me when I say that it doesn't read well as-is.)
Second bubble: Comma before "Tia".
Third: "You can be proud of yourself, Tia: you overcame your greatest weakness." (Also, what is that weakness she speaks of? It is not clear to me.)

6th panel: "Please don't cry". "I'm crying cuz I have the best mom; who cares about me and my future."

Last panel: Comma before "Tia" and after "sleep".
Reply
:iconraenboow:
RaenBoow Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Student Digital Artist
It's "Stop! Grammar time!" ;P
Reply
:iconaeleos:
Aeleos Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
Wow, my bad. I... why did I even type that 'it's'? You totally touched that there. ;p

...and I should really go to bed before 3.
Reply
:iconraenboow:
RaenBoow Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Ha! xD touché! ^^
BED!? ಠoಠ Fuck that, you should sleep like a friend of mine does - NEVER/ALLWAYS! :iconravegwahplz: Time is his bitch, no matter when you try to call him he is asleep (or awake) >_<
Reply
:iconfiredra6on:
FIREDRA6ON Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
This is very heart warming. I like how they are siblings and Lauren Faust is their mom.
Reply
:iconoriginalvieral:
OriginalVieral Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
>.> life lessons? and funny? TOGETHER?! impossible.

and yet, here it is... I can't wait to see more. ^.^
Reply
:iconlacionarg:
LacionARG Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012  Student Digital Artist
have you ever heard of My little pony Friendship is Magic? lol :D
Reply
:iconmagnusdune:
MagnusDune Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012  Student Filmographer
hahaha, my thought exactly
Reply
:iconoriginalvieral:
OriginalVieral Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
>.> heard? bah, I've more than heard. I've herd. ^.^
Reply
:iconsgtc4b0053:
sgtc4b0053 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
Awesome, can't wait for the next part. Also, I love how you depict Nightmare Moon and Luna as twin sisters. Also, I don't think you ever said it directly in the comics, but is her name still "Nightmare Moon" or is there a different name you used/plan on using.
Reply
:iconbonaxor:
Bonaxor Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
I did told her name in first comic with Team Awesome. Discord is telling it. And her name is Dream.
Reply
:iconsgtc4b0053:
sgtc4b0053 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
I went back and read it again, and saw it. Thanks for pointing it out, guess I just missed it the first time.
Reply
:iconaeleos:
Aeleos Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
She's named "Dream": it was in the prequel. :D
Reply
:iconsgtc4b0053:
sgtc4b0053 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
Yeah, I missed it the first time I read it, but I just re-read it and saw it. Thanks for telling me.
Reply
:icontripnnout:
tripnnout Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
It was good but I don't know how much I like going this deep into stuff. Of course that's just me I personally like the funny comics to the deeper or sadder ones.
Reply
:iconlightningdelight:
LightningDelight Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
This premise is adorable.

Also, now I know where Celestia learned the art of the troll. From her mom.
Reply
:iconastral-spectrum:
Astral-Spectrum Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this is a great read. i like the immortal god-like ponies/faustmom character fanfic posts and this is no except. great job! i also like the subtle TF2 reference to the Meet the Solider video there with NMM.
Reply
:icongob3ldeg00p:
Gob3ldeg00p Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
Excellent!
Reply
:iconcheif15:
cheif15 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
Awwwwww
Reply
:icondemonicwolfgirl1:
DemonicWolfGirl1 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It was so AWSOME though the writing could do with abit more work unless your American then that's fine.
It's just I had to input the a few times and changed have to had cause it didn't seem to fit right.
Reply
:iconcyrusarc:
CyrusArc Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
awesome sause, such a good storyline
Reply
:iconvanderleibry:
vanderleibry Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
Awesomely scripted, and awesomely drawn. Keep 'em coming, they are great!
Reply
:iconsechserpackung:
Sechserpackung Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
Totally worth it!

Nice story you have going there.
Reply
:icongeneraldurandal:
GeneralDurandal Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012
awwwww
Reply
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