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Submitted: February 26, 2012
Image Size: 10.3 MB
Resolution: 3000×7350
Submitted with: Sta.sh

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Comments: 37
Favourites: 341 [who?]
Views: 25,739 (3 today)
Downloads: 571 (0 today)

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Team Awesome - Reborn Leader :Fortress Wars Part 1by *Bonaxor

Fan Art / Cartoons & Comics / Digital / Movies & TV

Team Awesome now on Tumblr. [link]
Part one - Enjoy ^^
Part two - [link]
Part three - [link]

People that helped me a lot.

Visit my site and plz read the Journal.

Any questions? Please send a note.

All characters belong to

and Hasbro
Comic, idea and whole story is my.

Critique by ~Aeleos Feb 26, 2012, 7:04:33 PM

Vision: as a whole, this series is well-thought out. Great twist in part two. I feel like you are conveying exactly what you mean to. I subtracted a star for two reasons:
I did not realize (until reading your journal) that the character in panel 1 was your avatar. Making a fourth comic, even if it were only one image with 20 text bubbles, would really clear this up.
Also, it took a re-reading to truly understand what was happening in each scene and the emotional nuances to accompany it. Maybe this is a style thing; I'm not quite sure.

Originality: very unique. Awesome concept overall, and the lessons the four learn like this are incredibly cute and interesting.

Technique: The drawing was very nice. Simple (in the style of the show) and vibrant. 4.5
After the transition from the 11th to the 12th panel on the right side, the viewer's eye is naturally drawn the panel in the middle where Luna runs off. That threw me a bit.
In the fifth-last panel, Dream is significantly larger than Luna. However, this changes in the last two panels.
The fringe on the coats looks sloppy.
The dialog is a bit awkward, but I'll let that slide as I was already mean enough in my comment below

In general, I think references are unprofessional, but these were pretty minor so it didn't affect the comic.

Impact: Again, this must be viewed as a series. On it's own it doesn't have the opportunity to shine. Together, it is great. I did like the humor and most of the facial expressions were spot-on.

Other comments:
In the 16th panel, what was that giant mech? Wasn't Dream in a snow fort?
Also, why was Celestia levitating her snowballs if she declared no magic?

Overall: this 3-parter gets

in my book.

What do you think?

Fair Unfair

The Artist thought this was FAIR

16 out of 16 deviants thought this was fair.

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Devious Rating

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact

Critique by ~ghost3400 Feb 26, 2012, 6:24:06 PM

Good comic, but you should stop yourself from using the word"cuz." It's unprofessional. It's a good comic, has a lot of potential, and I look forward to seeing your next comics, and honestly, you make A LOT of spelling and grammatical errors. I can tell that English is not your first language, but I recommend that you do some proofreading before you post it. It's a good comic with good potential. I love the drawings and how everything looks, like in the 9th panel how the snowballs change facial expressions. You've got great potential, and you should try your best to let it all out.