Let me start by saying that I like the colours used here. The soft brush strokes and mostly pastel colour scheme lend nicely to each other and are easy to look at. The one problem with this is that the blacks and other deep/vibrant colours clash with the others.
The drawing is decent. While it's quite clear your still learning, all of the essentials are there and it's clear you've put some thought into it. my biggest issue is in panel 5, where Celestia's coat is clearly visible outside her outline. Remember to use multiple layers on your drawing program and chip away at the excess colour with the eraser tool once you draw the outline.
When it comes to grammar, I'm willing to bet you speak polish more than english. Although the dialogue is read-able there are many small errors in the text (ill is used instead of I'll for example.).
The pacing of this comic is nice. Many artists forget that the panels need to breath, and I think that spreading Celestia's possession over 4 panels was a good choice. The comic itself seems to be a little heavy on the right side because of the thick pannel lines and additional panels on the right side, but that is a minor complaint at worst.
My one real problem with this is the text. I could barely read the text in panel 4 because the white dialogue was set on a cream background. The only thing that achieves is giving me a headache. Please choose either white or black, stick with it, and either place the text on a contrasting backdrop or use a text box.
This piece is not bad in the slightest. I can tell you put a fair bit of effort into it and I'll love to see more. The only reason I gave you a sub-par technical score if because of your grammar and confusing text, which can be improved with practice and better placement/colour of text. I don't want to mark originality because this is a fan comic and it would be unfair, but I have to put a mark in so just ignore it.
"No one" is two words. Ill means you're sick "I'll" is what you meant. And after a period there is a space and you capitalize the first letter after the period. But I do like your comic. And you are very good at art.
Oooh, I love the idea behind this, I had been thinking something similar about Luna and Nightmare Moon -- that Nightmare was a version of Luna that was possessed by some kind of malevolent force and that the elements drove it out of her. Nice to see the idea taken further here.
Wow Celestia should really fire her Royal Guards for this one... but then again she probably did pretty quickly after being possessed (possibly with real fire too)!
I do think that Massaras (sorry if i messed that up) has taken over Celestia's mind a little bit too easily though. In the case of Luna there was a strong base for a villian to penetrate within, but in Celestia's case she is so Mary Sue I would have expected it to be a lot tougher for something like this to happen.
If your villian can take over Celestia that easily... Equestria has pretty much gone Nuclear already!
Masarras did not take over Tia mind He took her body and shut her mind in special prison, where she still sleeps. Its like the worst nightmare for Tia, but she thinks it is only a dream. Also Masarras is not typical villain In next 4 page update( Yes 4 pages) I'm gonna tell in comic something pretty important.
The drawing is decent. While it's quite clear your still learning, all of the essentials are there and it's clear you've put some thought into it. my biggest issue is in panel 5, where Celestia's coat is clearly visible outside her outline. Remember to use multiple layers on your drawing program and chip away at the excess colour with the eraser tool once you draw the outline.
When it comes to grammar, I'm willing to bet you speak polish more than english. Although the dialogue is read-able there are many small errors in the text (ill is used instead of I'll for example.).
The pacing of this comic is nice. Many artists forget that the panels need to breath, and I think that spreading Celestia's possession over 4 panels was a good choice. The comic itself seems to be a little heavy on the right side because of the thick pannel lines and additional panels on the right side, but that is a minor complaint at worst.
My one real problem with this is the text. I could barely read the text in panel 4 because the white dialogue was set on a cream background. The only thing that achieves is giving me a headache. Please choose either white or black, stick with it, and either place the text on a contrasting backdrop or use a text box.
This piece is not bad in the slightest. I can tell you put a fair bit of effort into it and I'll love to see more. The only reason I gave you a sub-par technical score if because of your grammar and confusing text, which can be improved with practice and better placement/colour of text. I don't want to mark originality because this is a fan comic and it would be unfair, but I have to put a mark in so just ignore it.
Good job and keep it up.
silverd4
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